You Needed Me?

I am all flighty, wrapped up in the thrill of Broadway, no thanks to the upcoming staging of the West Side Story in Sg. I am uncertain why I am all excited even though I will not have the opportunity to watch it - ah... its the evil clutches of the magic of Broadway.

This evening, I heard a familiar tune on Class 95 that moved me and captivated me, in the manner that Broadway tunes do. There is a certain melodic strength of conviction and harmonic poignancy in the tune - human drama transposed to sonic composition - a very timeless tune.

I was curious to know what the lyrics conveyed. Not knowing anything about the song (as usual), I googled strains of the chorus as it faded on the radio, "...you needed me... you needed me".

I was pleasantly surprised the simplicity lyrics. The phrases were sharp, accessible (drama) and clichéd (at times) – all vital ingredients in a Broadway ;)

However, I realised that I didn’t understand the song. Specifically, I was perturbed by the line “you needed me.” – the very title of the song. Honestly, my first reaction to the song is that the person portrayed in this song is delusional.

We need others. In times of crisis, the only recourse may be to rely on loved ones to support and hope in us, while we ride it out and become moulded and strengthened in the process. The song suggests that the saving grace for the person in crisis was the fact that he/she perceived that he/she was needed by the other, even at the lowest and most ill esteemed point in their lives. The question is, was he/she actually needed by the other party? If so, in what sense was he/she needed? What role did he/she play in the life of the person who wiped the tear away and restored the dignity of the dearly distressed?

I still can’t quite figure it out. I think that its natural to stand by one another simply because we love them, as family, friends etc. The simple logic is this - I love them, I want them to be well, to be in my life, even when they are at their lowest I want them in life. In other words, I feel I need them in my life? Opinions anyone?

Another thought comes to mind, I love and need the Big Fellow up there; He has done for me all that is penned in the song. I wonder, will/does He need me per se? It’s a stupid question in know, He is omni-everything, there is nothing that He needs. Well... just curious…


You Needed Me (Anne Murray)
I cried a tear
You wiped it dry
I was confused
You cleared my mind
I sold my soul
You bought it back for me
And held me up and gave me dignity
Somehow you needed me.

Chorus:
You gave me strength
To stand alone again
To face the world
Out on my own again
You put me high upon a pedestal
So high that I could almost see eternity
You needed me
You needed me

And I can't believe it's you I can't believe it's true
I needed you and you were there
And I'll never leave, why should I leave
I'd be a fool
'Cause I've finally found someone who really cares

You held my hand
When it was cold
When I was lost
You took me home
You gave me hope
When I was at the end
And turned my lies
Back into truth again
You even called me friend

Repeat Chorus:
You needed me
You needed me

Colour me

Feeling whimsical today. Wandered to MM's blog and was amused by the results of the colour, pseudo personality tests she posted. So I decided to venture yonder and amuse myself with my own...

FIRST UP: What Color Are You?brought to you by Quizilla

WHITES are motivated by PEACE, seek independence and require kindness. They resist
confrontation at all costs. (Feeling good is more important than being good.) They are typically quiet by nature, they process things very deeply and objectively, and they are by far the best listeners of all the colors. They respect people who are kind, but recoil from perceived hostility or verbal battle.

WHITES need their quiet independence and refuse to be controlled by others. WHITES want to do things their own way, in their own time. They ask little of others, and resent others demanding much of them. WHITES are much stronger than people think because they dont
reveal their feelings. WHITES are kind, non-discriminate, patient and can be indecisive, timid, and silently stubborn.

When you deal with a WHITE, be kind, accept (and support) their individuality, and look for nonverbal clues to their feelings.

So, in other words, I am a deceptive, and unscrupulous ("Feeling good is more important than being good"?!?!) possess potentially talent as a mime artist (nonverbal clues?!?).

MM says its quite me cos I need kindness more than her(???) Everybody needs a little kindness!

Laughs: 4/5

NEXT: What's your true colour?
http://web.tickle.com/color/?test=colorogt

You're brown, a credible, stable color that's reminiscent of fine wood, rich leather, and wistful melancholy. Most likely, you're a logical, practical person ruled more by your head than your heart. With your inquisitive mind and insatiable curiosity, you're probably a great problem solver. And you always gather all of the facts before coming to a timely, informed decision. Easily intrigued, you're constantly finding new ways to challenge your mind, whether it's by reading the newspaper, playing a trivia game, or composing a piece of music. Brown is an impartial, neutral color, which means you tend to see the difference between fact and opinion easily and are open to many points of view. Trustworthy and steady, you really are a brown at heart.

Brown?!
First white, then brown?
I am a cow.

I am thinking more Dark Blue... Midnight Teal Blue... anything but eeky Brown.
(Why are my colours so 'edible'? velvety dark brown choc... creamy white vanilla icecream..)
Why can't they have things like Fuschia or Turqoise, those are nice 'personality' colours!

mm has blues... so pretty.
I am adverse to Brown as a personality lah; I'd better stick to a non-coloured personality test...

Laughs: -1/5


LAST INDULGENCE: A very monochrome Picto-Personality Test

The Picto-Personality Test You are a person who lives in the moment and is passionate about whatever and whoever you love. When alone, you appreciate being able to do nothing if you want to, and setting your own pace for things. You are intelligent. You use your time to its fullest potential and will go very far in life. In the future you will be very wealthy. You have the ambition and the drive to make a lot of money.

Take this Test at QuizGalaxy.com

This I like! I will "go very far in life", and in the future I will be "very wealthy".
uh huh. yeah right.
i just bit into a fortune cookie
Laughs: 10/5

Birthday 2006 - O Me! O Life!

I love the month of February!

O ME! O life!... of the questions of these recurring;
Of the endless trains of the faithless—of cities fill’d with the foolish;
Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)
Of eyes that vainly crave the light—of the objects mean—of the struggle ever renew’d;
Of the poor results of all—of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me;
Of the empty and useless years of the rest—with the rest me intertwined;
The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life?

Answer.
That you are here—that life exists, and identity;
That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse.

- O Me! O Life! (Walt Whitman) -

This year I have been wined and dined and serenaded to many times over :) Thank you all!


In Chronological Order...
HC: girls at HC for a night of Salsa, beautiful cake and a sumptious farewell dinner!
mn&dar: for the wonderful dimsum extravaganza and Lana's choc bday cake
tofuman & godazz: Dinner at Seah Str. Deli
mm: Shout shout let it all out!!! Thank you for the tears for fears CD!
ad in melb: yes! the day, and actually the whole entire month was filled with Joy and Blessings! :)
er&mn: Oyishi! fannwong&chrisLee

j: turkish apple tea!
af: for ur sweet voice
wl: for the touching sms... for the invaluable insight *moved*
tofuman: Surprise! for ur not so sweet voice, just as the clock chimed 12 :) We ran the gamut didnt we? Leaving on a Jet Plane, Bohemian Rhapsody, Love Is A Many Splendoured Thing, Tell Laura, The Rose, Jacky Cheung(!!), Wu Si Kai, Fly Me To The Moon, and THAT chinese song...

shif & mane: lovely sms-es :)

lks,mhan,clest & jm: thank you for your prayers and well wishess

SX:coy coy. complete and msn nic :)

tofuman: pt II. where on earth did u find all the MP3s!?

to be continued...

Birthday

In 2005 I was in Brisbane, bunking over at a friend’s house. Selva and I were both transitorily ‘homeless’ on foreign soil and camped out in the living room for two weeks. Was doing a little housekeeping and discovered this draft. I am not sure why I had not posted this ... well its nearing my birthday once again. Better now then ever :)

1.34am, Feb 22, 2005.

It is my birthday today. Another year passed. I wake up not feeling any older, nor wiser. Two days ago, I had a short conversation with a fellow 'refugee', Selva. "No one has the right to die", he finally said after a long pause.

It was 1am, we were both unable to sleep because of the summer heat. I was up reading an article by William Charlton, who philosophised the meaning of dying and argues that the phrase "the right to die" should really be "the right to be killed or be killed". "... in fact, we do not even have a right to be born", Selva says with much conviction. "We did not ask to be born, and in the same way, we cannot ask to die."

Selva practises Hinduism. He believes that God's power is only manifested if man allows it or wills it. "He lives in here...", he points to his heart. "When we are born, God is born, and Satan is born too"

I try not to think that my sacred passage into the world is accompanied by such an unwelcome entity. But its too late - my imagination gets the better of me. I take a moment to purge the visions out of my head.

I try to think what it must have been like to be Born; but I carry no memory of the moment I was born into this world. However, I can imagine...
Sensorial bombardment,
Contractions and pulsations
Turmoil.
Anxious blinding distress
Amniotic turbulence.
Violent transitions
Wild uncertainty.
Strength.
Fatigue.
Muffled cries
of both child and mother –
The unstoppable sheer instinctive will
To live
and to let live.
this world;
Blood
Air
Light
Sound
Touch
Love

Hmmm… Birth, is actually a dangerous and traumatic experience, for both mother and child. Prior to this, I had not given the matter much thought and merely subscribed to a rosy, Hollywood glamorous, picture of birth.

I can understand why the Selva believes that the devil accompanies us at birth. The temptation for mother and child to give up the struggle of the transition must have been great. Yet, yet our mothers did not, despite experiencing indescribable acute pain. And even as tiny fledgings, we too have somehow persevered and survived birth. We trusted our mothers and followed the beat of our hearts to be Born.

I can’t see anything. I can only hear my heart beating, in the silence of the night, as I lay nestled cosily in my sleeping bag. I smile and snuggle into a foetal ball...

I am comforted too that friends will somehow pull through the doldrums; afterall, they already survived the worst - they were Born.

Thank you God, thank you for everything. This birthday, I am content; knowing that if God delivered me through my own birth, He will deliver me through and through.

Fret not

Fish bite moonbeams every night...

Godspeed
-Dixie Chicks-

Dragon tales and the "water is wide"
Pirate's sail and lost boys fly
Fish bite moonbeams every night
And I love you

Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
Godspeed
Sweet dreams

The rocket racer's all tuckered out
Superman's in pajamas on the couch
Goodnight moon, we'll find the mouse
And I love you

Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
Godspeed
Sweet dreams

God bless mommy and match box cars
God bless dad and thanks for the stars
God hears "Amen," wherever we are
And I love you

Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
Godspeed
Godspeed
Godspeed
Sweet dreams

Don't you just want to cuddle a tiny little todd right now... Awwwww...