Missing

Perhaps the most difficult adjustment one has to make post break-up is that of missing someone.

What do I 'miss' exactly? I asked myself that question, in an attempt to understand my emotions. I must be crazy to miss that one person who has hurt me so completely with his infidelity. But I do not feel removed from reality; so perhaps a more appropriate question would be 'why' do I miss?

what better way to explore the human condition than to explore the boundaries of our reality -
the dictionary - bible of the human experience

miss ( P ) Pronunciation Key (ms)
v.
missed, miss·ing, miss·es v. tr.
To fail to hit, reach, catch, meet, or otherwise make contact with.
To fail to perceive, understand, or experience: completely missed the point of the film.
To fail to accomplish, achieve, or attain (a goal).
To fail to attend or perform: never missed a day of work.
To leave out; omit.
To let go by; let slip: miss a chance.
To escape or avoid: narrowly missed crashing into the tree.
To discover the absence or loss of: I missed my book after getting off the bus.
To feel the lack or loss of: Do you miss your family?
v. intr.
To fail to hit or otherwise make contact with something: fired the final shot and missed again.
To be unsuccessful; fail.
miss out on
To lose a chance for: missed out on the promotion. (excerpts from Dictionary.com )

One month after the truth was made known to me
one month after the sensory cacophony
one month after feeling spurned
one month after dying
I do not miss him spectrally anymore

There is no longer the brutal pain numbing pain that infects every cell in my body, compounded by the acute jolt of phantom flesh lacerated from the soul. Memories of him no longer render me immobile nor engulf me.

I miss him. I miss him as a person and friend. Do you not sometimes think about people who have crossed your path though fleetingly?
I miss him as a confidante. I have to admit and accept the sense of loss, the 'death' of someone who was of intricate importance to my life.
I miss him as a partner in crime. Naked honesty, mortal impressions.

I am glad that I miss,
for if I did not, I had not loved
and if I had not loved,
I had not lived.